A Gift
Leoz Jonah was sipping hot coffee from his favourite yellow mug, enjoying the satisfactory from the aroma of the thick brown liquid. He took a glimpse at his wristwatch; it was 4:11 am. A brand new day had silently arrived yet he did not realize it. “What a long exhausting night,” Leoz Jonah throw his sight far away from his office window and gluttonously seeking for the sign of a new day. 8 hours of fighting with the Death Evil with his remarkably outstanding surgery skill, a suicide patient was given a second chance to see the sunrise of tomorrows. Jonah Dawn relieved a sigh, thinking of the greatly depressed suicidal patient. Deep in his heart, he was praying earnestly for his patient’s emotionally and physically recovery. A calm voice arouse in his heart, this was a voice that had given him words of encouragement, and a bellyful of disappointment, 25 years ago. “Heal your patients with double-edged sword...” Leoz Jonah smiled at his old days, and the beautiful sunrise. Sunrise and sunrise, the everlasting beauty of the sun still conquering his heart; Years after years, the scattered pieces of his stories still occupy a place in his memory box while his hair was started turning grey. He took out a moth-eaten small rectangular paper box from his table drawer: it was a gift, a gift that supposed to be presented to someone. As he blew off the dust on it, he unlocked the memory box of 25 years ago. He took out a book from it, and slowly flipped the fragile pages.
********
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It was a sunny day. Birds were singing on the branches, celebrating the good weather; Winds were directing a graceful dance of the grasses, adding on colour to the extraordinary symphony. Jonah Dawn’s heart was filled with joy, for him, everyday was provided with opportunities and at the same time, the uncertainty gave him a sense of adventurous. This optimistic characteristic really promised him a quite-smooth-sailing in his college life; neither a mountain of biology reference books and assignments could ever stop him moving on nor the sophisticatedly complicated calculus could put off the burning fire in his heart. Having realised he would never be an eagle; he strongly believed by exerting more effort in his studies, he could make a difference in his future, even though he was just a chicken. Through this journey, he was not walking alone. With him, there are Philip Leon, Stephen Timothy, and Don Amos. They were once strangers using the same road everyday yet they did not know each other, however, there was one very special person who tight them together. He was the illusive magician who had successfully ignited their enthusiasm towards debate and the great chemist whom Jonah Dawn admired; He used none of the colourful chemical substances in laboratory yet he could initiate an invisible chemical reaction which melted their icy heart walls, leading to the formation of a wonderful relationship- it was called friendship. The very first page in Jonah Dawn’s stories book was written, when he first met this extremely unique person.
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..
“Good morning, Mr Speaker sir. As the Prime Minister of government team, I would like to define “terrorists” as a group of people who have different ideology and they use hard methods such as bombing and nuclear weapon attack to impose high profile influence in the society...”, Jonah Dawn took a deep breath before he continued. He took a quick glance on the yellow shirt guy who was sitting right in front of him. Jonah Dawn’s confidence was collapsing when he noticed that guy was shaking his head, he wanted to continue his speech but those words could not be thrown out as if they were stuck in his throat. He froze at the spot and there was a long hesitant. Four pairs of eyes were focused on Jonah Dawn; three of them were trying to give encouragement, but the last pairs of emotionless eyes, Jonah Dawn could not fathom out what message they were carrying. This was their third mock debate, a preparation for Jonah Dawn, Philip Leon, Stephen Timothy, and Don Amos, before they went for a battle- the battle of minds. The whole training process was not an enjoyable one; 15 minutes for brainstorming and 7 minutes to present arguments. Jonah Dawn was having a hard time to cope with this exhausting training. His optimistic was started to turn sour as he realised his poor command in English would stop him to spur forward, and he started wondering whether he could be a debater. Jonah Dawn failed to continue with his speech, he folded the paper in his hand and went back to his seat. Feeling defeated, the intention of running away began to sprout out.
********
…
Philip Leon threw himself onto his soft bed. A tedious week again with endless tests and infinite assignments, and he was using 85% of his energy in saturating his brain with required general knowledge for debate. Within two weeks time, he was going to make his dream come true. A dream of becoming a debater, standing on the stage to present sound arguments, to give concrete rebuttals to trash the opposition teams down. Philip Leon found debate very interesting as words were used as weapons to fight against each others. No blood no pain throughout the process of winning the trophy. Philip Leon was a talented debater, even though he was a newbie in the game, he played well for each game he involved. There was a big contrast between Philip Leon and his partner, Jonah Dawn. They met each other because of debate and their friendship was nearly broken because of the same reason. While the fire of debate of burning within Philip Leon and pushing him to move forwards in a frantic speed, somehow he forgot to look around to seek his partner, to see how far he had been left behind, or to pull him up when he had fallen. One week before the debate tournament, he was surprised by his partner’s decision, a sudden voice to tear down their covenant to run after their shared dream. “ I cannot run the race with you anymore. You could have been better without a lousy partner like me.” The solemn voice of Jonah Dawn was playing in his mind. At the midst of wilderness, a message was sent to the yellow shirt guy, their couch their senior, Joash Marvel.
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….
Stephen Timothy bite into his egg sandwich, at the same time, he was trying to solve a very complicated question. “There is no time to lose.” Stephen Timothy kept reminding himself. He was busy scribbling on a piece of paper while his teeth were grinding his lunch: two regurgitations were taking place at once. It was a hectic life and he found it difficult to keep up with others’ paces, especially when he took a brave step to join the debate competition with Don Amos. Stephen Timothy’s determination was shaking when he took himself as a turtle among sprinters, seeing that there was only minor improvement shown by himself throughout the debate training session. Messed up in a step, Stephen Timothy failed in solving the question. He scratched his head in frustration; a thought to pull out from the debate sprang out. All he wanted was to get everything right on the track. He looked at his previous chemistry test paper; he only scored a mere 45%. He sighed. He took out his hand phone and typed two messages: respectively to Joash Marvel and Don Amos. Silently, he talked to Him:” You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. I am not ready for this challenge, give me more times to grow, o Lord.” Having fed by the words of God, he soaked himself into the fantasy world of Core Mathematics after keeping his dream in his secret box.
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…..
It was a rainy night. The drops from sky carried strong elegiac feeling .Don Amos was taking a shower. The little bathroom was filled with the fragrance of shower gel that he used. It was Don Amos’s favourite lavender’s smell, an anti-stress antigen. He smirked at himself, yes, he needed to combat with his overflowing anxiety and stress especially after nodding his head as a sign of agreement to be Stephen Timothy’s debate partner. The debate training session was a nightmare; it revealed their weaknesses nakedly in front of everyone, and they had to be prepared to be criticised mercilessly by the short guy whom had rich debate experiences. Don Amos had forgotten how many times he had been discouraged after every mock debates, he wondered how broken his heart could be. His zeal for debate was gradually decolourized due to the lonely journey, being forgotten and left in the lurch. Having a hard time of struggling, he let himself hit by the freezing cold water, trying to loosen his over-stretched nerves. Perhaps, God felt his sorrow and decided to give him a break; Don Amos received a message from his partner:” Don, I wish to stop here. I cannot continue any further. I’m sorry for letting this race unfinished...” Don Amos looked at the dark sky, there was countless of blinking stars. It was a peaceful night that led him into a deep thought. “It is finished.” Don Amos murmured. Silently, an angel blowing a gentle breeze to wipe the crystal beads on his face. It might be an end of the path yet there was another waiting for him, long time ago, even before he was born.
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……
It was a dead silence in the room. Joash Marvel’s pale white serious face made him looked no more than a ruthless dictator. It was a terrible night for him. All four of his sheep caught him with great surprise by telling him their decisions to pull out from the debate tournament. He was driven by disappointment; all this while he had been sacrificing his precious times in couching his four juniors and taught them generously whatever he knew. He was deeply depressed, thinking of the way he had trained them. “Am I too harsh towards them? Have I given my best to them all this while?” These questions were turning around in his mind. Terribly struck with dismay, he knelt down on his knees and sought the Almighty One. Feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit, he heard a voice:” My son, even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty. Rejoice my son, and believe in me.” Comforted, Joash Marvel pondered over the two messages that he had received from his juniors. He made a decision, or perhaps God made it for him. No one knows .A gentle press on the key pads of his PC, Joash Marvel never know it was the message that changed everything.
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…….
The park was filled with giggling of four kids. They were jumping here and there, chasing after one another happily. At the corner of the park, there was an unhappy young man sitting on the swing. Laughter and sorrow clashed in the peaceful evening, stirring up the uneasiness in his heart. Today, he made a cowardly decision, he chose to run away; he ran away from facing his giants, and he let his cowardice conquering his soul. “Jonah Dawn, you are a chicken!” A satanic voice was trying to push him to the abyss. Tears was burst out from his eyes, mixing with unimaginable disappointment; Being disappointed by his own gutless action, and the absent of words of encouragement from a special person. Deep in Jonah Dawn’s heart, he was not really wanted to give up in the first place. He was a man who always kept his words and breaking a promise was definitely against his principle. Driven by the curiosity on the depth of friendship and the longing for words of encouragement, however, Jonah Dawn put everyone into a test. It was a stupid mistake. He forgot to measure the value of himself before setting the test and now he had to bear the heavy consequences of it. Yesterday night, he read a message. “ I wish to talk to you personally. Meet at X-Cafe, 7am.” It was a message that appeared on Philip Leon’s hand phone’s screen, only. Jonah Dawn had been waiting for a similar message to come in, yet his hand phone remained silent, for the whole night.
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……..
Jonah Dawn’s eyes was trying to avoid meeting Joash Marvel’s, it was six months after the battle of minds. All the bitterness was being stirred up whenever Joash Marvel’s shadow was seen, voice was heard. Understandable, no one would like to see a person whom was a reminder of one’s failure. Joash Marvel was the haunting ghost for Jonah Dawn, a person whom Jonah Dawn wished he could evaporate from the earth. However, the Creator was a joker, whom wisdom was difficult to be fathomed and far beyond Jonah Dawn’s understandings. Almost every single day after the unhappy event, Joash Marvel appeared in front of Jonah Dawn, jumping here and there like an over-excited short leg frog. Interestingly, God did a miracle by putting Jonah Dawn in Joash Marvel’s home church, as if a Father swinging a disgusting frog in front of a screaming daughter- During the particular Sunday service, Jonah Dawn was deeply touched by Holy Spirit. He forgot how much tears he had poured out through the service, yet he still remember the reassurance from God. “I know I have the plan for you, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” A gentle voice arouse from the bottom of his heart as Jonah Dawn was worshipping. God’s work was indescribable; Jonah Dawn had to admit it. He never think that he will settle down in New Life Restoration Centre, a place which he could call as a home, a place where he could trace a trivial sense of belonging. After all, he just tried to be sporting and accept the invitation from his friends, Philip Leon and Stephen Timothy, in the beginning, he never expect the result.
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“Lord, I’m amazed by you. Lord, I’m amazed by you, how you love me…” Jonah Dawn was crooning gently in the balcony. He was worshipping in the morning when the sun still had not wake up. It was exactly one year after the painful experience; Jonah Dawn had grown stronger in Christ and had tried his best to give Him undivided attention. His wound was gradually bound up by the Healing Hands, yet Jonah Dawn knew there was something missing, when he realised that he failed to face Joash Marvel. The Almighty One spoke to Jonah Dawn through a book which lied on Philip Leon’s writing desk, a meaningful book entitled “The Kite Runner” by Hussein Khalid, a book which owner named Joash Marvel. Perhaps God knew Jonah Dawn’s “must-read-every-good-book” habit, and He purposely placed one on Philip Leon’s desk, on the day when Jonah Dawn was wondering whether he should join the battle once again, his eyes were attracted by the book. He greedily picked up the book and swallowed everything in his mind within two days, and he found something that touched his soul-the similarity between himself and Amir, the main character, they were both coward. They flew away from their giants yet Amir had successfully made his redemption in the end. The ending of the story intrigued Jonah Dawn to do the same thing, fight and win him back. Jonah Dawn looked at the beautiful sunrise, he had made a decision. “May your kingdom come, may your will be done…” Jonah Dawn prayed wholeheartedly.
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……….
The clock sounded 4:15pm. It was going to be Jonah Dawn and his partner’s third round in the debate’s tournament, few more minutes later, the motion would be released. The stagnant air was suffocating the debaters. Jonah Dawn was trying to cool his spine down by singing praises to Him, “I have got the life, I have got the melody, I have the Word, the Word of God; that set me free…” A gentle tap on his shoulder woke Jonah Dawn; he turned his eyes to the dark guy sitting comfortably beside him. Their eyes met in the air, and they smiled. The dark guy was an angel sent by God, Jonah Dawn supposed. Three days before the application submit deadline, Keith Krishnan approached Jonah Dawn and asked him to be his partner. Jonah Dawn bitter past was being stirred up by the coming of the battle, he was not confident towards his capability, all in all, his endurance to finish the race and stand up from where he had once fallen. Once again, a solemn voice reminded Jonah Dawn: “My son, I will not let the defeated remain defeated.” Jonah Dawn asked Keith Krishnan to meet up; he was thinking of pouring out his past on his going-to-be new partner- Keith Krishnan had the right to know before they started to run the race together. Before the motion was released, Jonah Dawn managed to take a glimpse on a yellow card, which was written by a special person, one year ago.
It read:
Dearest Jonah,
Cast your eyes on the mountains,
And see the chariots of fires,
And the legions of angels that fill the horizon.
Look, see, and know that the Lord is good. For He never fails, never short changes us, and never hides the best thing from us.
Joash
“God is good all the time...” ;Jonah Dawn murmured.
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...........
It was a peaceful afternoon. Jonah Dawn looked at the blue sky, he saw an aeroplane. He could not hold back his welled eyes; and his precious tears dropped on his black cotton shirt. He could feel his contented soul souring high in the sky like an eagle, breaking free from the sorrow bondage and enjoying the fruit of freedom. Jonah Dawn and Keith Krishnan lost in the battle of minds, yet they managed to crown the honour as finalist. They had fought a good fight and finished the race, they supported each other through the rocky journey, and together they had fought like warriors. Looking at the trophies in their hands, they smiled again. Not at the shiny trophies but the walk they had embarked on, and the miraculous work which God had done on them. No one expected the ending, not even themselves. Obviously, God had chosen them to shine for Him and glorify His name in the heaven, even though they were only broken clay pots. There were three darling angels standing right in front of Jonah Dawn, they were not the winged creatures but they were the people who had given Jonah Dawn full support while he was running the race, they were Philip Leon, Stephen Timothy, and Don Amos, the people with angelic hearts. The winter season for Jonah Dawn had silently passed by, his spring times was coming. A blossom of new friendship with Keith Krishnan and the joy of the restored friendships; were causing a big gay flood within Jonah Dawn. There was one last thing that Jonah Dawn had to do: to face his ex- haunting ghost once again, and hand him one little thing, the most valuable gift which Jonah Dawn wanted to give Joash Marvel all this while. Jonah Dawn took a look at his trophy, he smiled again. “This time, I will look straight into your eyes...” Jonah Dawn told himself.
********
The unfinished coffee was cooled down in the adorable yellow mug. Leoz Jonah slowly put down the old book in his hand. It was his very first book, which entitled “A Gift”. Ironically, it was a gift that he failed to give to the targeted person, Madam Sherry, his English lecturer during his freshman year in Manipal University, India. It was not because Leoz Jonah liked her very much but it was her who taught him about reality, something closer to the real life, something we called favouritism. How much Leoz Jonah wanted her lecturer to realize that her attitude was nearly ruined his life by writing him off from her “apples list”, and throwing her cruel criticism with a smiling face. Leoz Jonah was always her targeted bull eyes for his never ending enthusiastic to debate with the lecturer. Leoz Jonah felt the strong urge to voice out his thought whenever he disagreed with Madam Sherry. Perhaps this was an inborn characteristic; Leoz Jonah was the flying dove, refused to be bound by constraint. Leoz Jonah’s principle was” no one should be forgotten, everyone is precious no matter who you are” Thus, he wrote his contradict idea in his book. Deep inside Leoz Jonah’s heart, he wanted to send this message to the lady whom left a great impact in his life in a very special way. He took out a piece of old newspaper from the box; it read” A lady was killed in a car crash…”.Leoz Jonah signed. One day before Leoz Dawn submitted his draft, Madam Sherry left the world; God brought her back to where she belonged. Having no opportunity to hand her the gift, Leoz Dawn changed the ending of his very first story. He had no chance to present the gift, yet Jonah Dawn had. He threw his sight at the beautiful morning, he smiled.
********
Simple words of mine:
It is my journey, not a beautiful story, yet a walk to remember. It was once started with unfulfilled expectation, bitterness, sorrow, and a broken soul. Worthless and imperfect, were my reflection. I wonder, how many times I had broken His heart, still Jesus loves me, and holds me in His arms. I wonder, how many times I had turned away from Him, still Jesus forgives me, and gives me other chance. I was redeemed for He has paid the price. I see this as a GIFT, the most precious gift a Father would give to His beloved children. He taught me how to forgive, how to love, how to give. Walking on this journey of faith, I am glad that I am walking with Him, I am not alone and I’ll never be. I pray that more and more empty souls will receive the GIFT with their hearts and start a journey of seeking the GIVER.
Amen.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
A Silent Odyssey
A silent odyssey
No one would ever believe that, even Amy McGee herself couldn’t believe that John Watson was the one; a thief who had successfully stolen her heart, an intruder who dashed into her without alarm. That was the first time where Amy McGee saw John Watson debating with sparking passion and bellyful of conviction even his inborn speaking disorder couldn’t put off the fire of his enthusiasm towards the battle of minds. Amy McGee had been attending to the same church as John Watson. She first met John Watson at World Harvest Church but she did not really put him in her memory box as he is unnoticeable in term of his appearance. And this was one of the common things they were sharing- insignificance. Ever since Amy McGee had discovered the presence of this aspiring debater, she gradually witnessed his mushrooming inner beauty. The more she knew about him, the more she couldn’t hold herself from falling for him, and the more she knew that he was simply too unreachable for her. He was as if like an eagle, waiting for an appropriate time to spread his wings and soar high in the blue sky. Samantha Best was the other eagle in World Harvest Church, a talented musician possessing a remarkably outstanding elegance. She was the dedicated debater like John Watson, both pursuing an astonishing zeal in minds’ wars. They were flying under the same remarkably spacious sky. When the time she saw the sparkles out of John Watson and Samantha Best’s debates, Amy McGee knew that she would only be the third person who would never had a chance to squeeze in between. It was always an anguished moment while we set our eyes on someone or something which already been marked of ownership, Amy McGee knew that it was time to let go the jewel whom did not belong to her. “Let’s the wind blow off the aroma of the blossomless love. From now onwards, Jesus will be my only lover…” Amy McGee shouted aloud in her heart.
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III
Samantha Best threw her drained-out body onto her comfy bed. It had been a torturing week with overloaded undone assignments and unrevised text books due to the hellish debate training. Debate was once her whole universe, the main source of her secret satisfaction when the time she saw the defeated faces of her opponents. It had been a great time for her by standing on top of all and always be acknowledged as No.1. She created the most wonderful melodies while she let her delicates fingers dancing on the piano keys. Her angelic voice melted every stony hearts, except for one person- Orson Best, her younger brother. Orson best had lost his privilege in listening to beautiful sounds since he was born. Sarcastically, Samantha Best might harbor plethora of compliments from all over the directions, she failed in earning a simple praise from her only begotten brother. Ever since Samantha Best’s father dumped his pregnant wife and 7-years old little Samantha Best and gone off with his underground-affair mistress, Samantha Best’s mother lost her mind and always got herself drunk without considering the baby she was carrying in womb. She cried and shouted out of the bottom of her broken heart for someone who broke their love covenant. All this tragedy had mercilessly robbed Samantha Best’s precious childhood and her natural conscience forced her to grow stronger and faster. She was disappointed by her father’s selfishness, she determined not to disappoint herself in any circumstances. Throughout the past 11 year of harsh life, she had been pushing herself to be the No.1 in everything she did- debate, academic, music, and piano. She successfully put her self-imposed targets into reality yet she felt the emptiness in her heart. She was lost in the midst of wilderness and loneliness was conquering her soul. She realized that she was somebody yet she never had anybody. “What on Earth am I here for … ” She was wondering.
********
********
This life is not about you, it is not about me, and definitely it is not about us.
It is about God.
We may stumble yet we will never fall.
Remember, Jesus loves you.
I
Life would never be an easy expedition for John Watson. He had no physical impairment; he could read the most brilliantly written journals, he could smell the fragrance of elegant bouquet of roses, he could listen to the enthusiastically played music, he could enjoy the cordon bleu cuisines, and he could croon a sentimental tune. Yet, he had been stumbling through his way up till to the point where he was. Having driven by the unspeakable distress, he thought of setting himself free- Free from every single suffocating constrains. It was not an ABC for John Watson to step into a debate team, especially when he was a dyslexic speaking sufferer. The excitement of tasting new flavor experience became the sole inspiration of John Watson. Deep in the bottom of his heart, he always knew that his participation would be looked as a joke when there were countless of genuine debaters joining the exhilarating battle of minds. Throughout the whole enervating of debate training, John Watson was terribly lost. Sadly, there was no one to comfort him and no one was there to give him a portion of encouragement during the sorrow moments. Neither angel nor his respectful couch offered him any constructive guidance. John Watson did not really mean to break off his commitment towards the debate team members, his ultimate purpose was to test how much did he mean to his friends and couch. And he had been given an extremely heartbreaking response. Terribly disappointed, John Watson kept his dream of becoming a well-trained debater. All the more, he collected the pieces of his abruptly smashed heart and continued walking on the thorny journey. While life seems so meaningless in his view, until he met a quiet boy with a mockingbird in the rain, “ There must be more than this, my days when I’m still breathing…” he murmured.
********
Life would never be an easy expedition for John Watson. He had no physical impairment; he could read the most brilliantly written journals, he could smell the fragrance of elegant bouquet of roses, he could listen to the enthusiastically played music, he could enjoy the cordon bleu cuisines, and he could croon a sentimental tune. Yet, he had been stumbling through his way up till to the point where he was. Having driven by the unspeakable distress, he thought of setting himself free- Free from every single suffocating constrains. It was not an ABC for John Watson to step into a debate team, especially when he was a dyslexic speaking sufferer. The excitement of tasting new flavor experience became the sole inspiration of John Watson. Deep in the bottom of his heart, he always knew that his participation would be looked as a joke when there were countless of genuine debaters joining the exhilarating battle of minds. Throughout the whole enervating of debate training, John Watson was terribly lost. Sadly, there was no one to comfort him and no one was there to give him a portion of encouragement during the sorrow moments. Neither angel nor his respectful couch offered him any constructive guidance. John Watson did not really mean to break off his commitment towards the debate team members, his ultimate purpose was to test how much did he mean to his friends and couch. And he had been given an extremely heartbreaking response. Terribly disappointed, John Watson kept his dream of becoming a well-trained debater. All the more, he collected the pieces of his abruptly smashed heart and continued walking on the thorny journey. While life seems so meaningless in his view, until he met a quiet boy with a mockingbird in the rain, “ There must be more than this, my days when I’m still breathing…” he murmured.
********
II
No one would ever believe that, even Amy McGee herself couldn’t believe that John Watson was the one; a thief who had successfully stolen her heart, an intruder who dashed into her without alarm. That was the first time where Amy McGee saw John Watson debating with sparking passion and bellyful of conviction even his inborn speaking disorder couldn’t put off the fire of his enthusiasm towards the battle of minds. Amy McGee had been attending to the same church as John Watson. She first met John Watson at World Harvest Church but she did not really put him in her memory box as he is unnoticeable in term of his appearance. And this was one of the common things they were sharing- insignificance. Ever since Amy McGee had discovered the presence of this aspiring debater, she gradually witnessed his mushrooming inner beauty. The more she knew about him, the more she couldn’t hold herself from falling for him, and the more she knew that he was simply too unreachable for her. He was as if like an eagle, waiting for an appropriate time to spread his wings and soar high in the blue sky. Samantha Best was the other eagle in World Harvest Church, a talented musician possessing a remarkably outstanding elegance. She was the dedicated debater like John Watson, both pursuing an astonishing zeal in minds’ wars. They were flying under the same remarkably spacious sky. When the time she saw the sparkles out of John Watson and Samantha Best’s debates, Amy McGee knew that she would only be the third person who would never had a chance to squeeze in between. It was always an anguished moment while we set our eyes on someone or something which already been marked of ownership, Amy McGee knew that it was time to let go the jewel whom did not belong to her. “Let’s the wind blow off the aroma of the blossomless love. From now onwards, Jesus will be my only lover…” Amy McGee shouted aloud in her heart.
********
III
Samantha Best threw her drained-out body onto her comfy bed. It had been a torturing week with overloaded undone assignments and unrevised text books due to the hellish debate training. Debate was once her whole universe, the main source of her secret satisfaction when the time she saw the defeated faces of her opponents. It had been a great time for her by standing on top of all and always be acknowledged as No.1. She created the most wonderful melodies while she let her delicates fingers dancing on the piano keys. Her angelic voice melted every stony hearts, except for one person- Orson Best, her younger brother. Orson best had lost his privilege in listening to beautiful sounds since he was born. Sarcastically, Samantha Best might harbor plethora of compliments from all over the directions, she failed in earning a simple praise from her only begotten brother. Ever since Samantha Best’s father dumped his pregnant wife and 7-years old little Samantha Best and gone off with his underground-affair mistress, Samantha Best’s mother lost her mind and always got herself drunk without considering the baby she was carrying in womb. She cried and shouted out of the bottom of her broken heart for someone who broke their love covenant. All this tragedy had mercilessly robbed Samantha Best’s precious childhood and her natural conscience forced her to grow stronger and faster. She was disappointed by her father’s selfishness, she determined not to disappoint herself in any circumstances. Throughout the past 11 year of harsh life, she had been pushing herself to be the No.1 in everything she did- debate, academic, music, and piano. She successfully put her self-imposed targets into reality yet she felt the emptiness in her heart. She was lost in the midst of wilderness and loneliness was conquering her soul. She realized that she was somebody yet she never had anybody. “What on Earth am I here for … ” She was wondering.
********
IV
While the youth were grumbling about the unbearably annoying hot weather or endless tests, there was always a young boy who sat at the corner of the class drawing on his sketch book. Orson Best was his name but he would never know that how wonderful his name sounded. He was fully concentrated on his piece of drawing as if he was the only one existed at the very moment. After he finished the final touch, he closed the emerald green colored front cover. The sky was purple and the sorrow was contagious to the empty souls. Every single day on the earth seems like a replaying drama for Orson Best but he treasured each and every second. Even though he couldn’t hear the most beautiful melodies yet he could hear the sound of brokenhearted, his life might pursue elegiac qualities yet the hardship of the journey neither burn him out nor bury his unnoticeable talent. He did not discover this view personally but because of God sent an angel to reveal this hidden meaning of life. Few years ago, Orson Best saw a girl who was trying to save a mockingbird from being stoned dead by three naughty kids at the playground, when he was on the way to World Harvest Church. That day, he believed that he did see an angel, a beautiful angel. He knew the angel, the quiet girl from World Harvest Church, Amy McGee. Nobody would notice her due to her unattractive outlook, the glitter from her inner beauty was glorious, even his all rounder sister, Samantha best would look dim in terms of inner beauty. The great lady of the Almighty taught him many thing- to love, to give, to forgive. Orson Best felt so blessed by having Amy McGee and his new-found friend, Memo, the mockingbird who couldn’t sing. Thus, he was so encouraged to be a blessing to other. This wasn’t a joke but a commitment to Father God. Yesterday he and Memo saw a guy standing in the rain and he could feel the pain of his heart. Without hesitation, he went to him with Memo. He tapped his shoulder and showed him a piece of paper which written “ REMEMBER , JESUS LOVES YOU.”
While the youth were grumbling about the unbearably annoying hot weather or endless tests, there was always a young boy who sat at the corner of the class drawing on his sketch book. Orson Best was his name but he would never know that how wonderful his name sounded. He was fully concentrated on his piece of drawing as if he was the only one existed at the very moment. After he finished the final touch, he closed the emerald green colored front cover. The sky was purple and the sorrow was contagious to the empty souls. Every single day on the earth seems like a replaying drama for Orson Best but he treasured each and every second. Even though he couldn’t hear the most beautiful melodies yet he could hear the sound of brokenhearted, his life might pursue elegiac qualities yet the hardship of the journey neither burn him out nor bury his unnoticeable talent. He did not discover this view personally but because of God sent an angel to reveal this hidden meaning of life. Few years ago, Orson Best saw a girl who was trying to save a mockingbird from being stoned dead by three naughty kids at the playground, when he was on the way to World Harvest Church. That day, he believed that he did see an angel, a beautiful angel. He knew the angel, the quiet girl from World Harvest Church, Amy McGee. Nobody would notice her due to her unattractive outlook, the glitter from her inner beauty was glorious, even his all rounder sister, Samantha best would look dim in terms of inner beauty. The great lady of the Almighty taught him many thing- to love, to give, to forgive. Orson Best felt so blessed by having Amy McGee and his new-found friend, Memo, the mockingbird who couldn’t sing. Thus, he was so encouraged to be a blessing to other. This wasn’t a joke but a commitment to Father God. Yesterday he and Memo saw a guy standing in the rain and he could feel the pain of his heart. Without hesitation, he went to him with Memo. He tapped his shoulder and showed him a piece of paper which written “ REMEMBER , JESUS LOVES YOU.”
********
This life is not about you, it is not about me, and definitely it is not about us.
It is about God.
We may stumble yet we will never fall.
Remember, Jesus loves you.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
The X-Zone
Trembling in a horrofic fear, i'm surrounding in a seemingly endless darkness. My heart beats hurriedly as i'm gasping for oxygen. The layer of dead freezing mist is almost suffocating me. A heartbreaking torment comes from my chest. I bite my lower lip to avoid any groaning due to this unimaginable pain. A crystal bead drops on my lips, salty it tastes. Ironically, i couldn't differentiate wether it is my tears or sweat. I close my eyes and lean on the wall. Having all the memory mess up, i need to rearrange them. While i'm breathing in and out, i can feel there is something oozing out of my chest. I see the colour of the fluid under the silverish moonlight. It's red and it smells like blood. Now i remember what had happened. All the bitterness and sorrow burst up into my chest, it's time to pay the price...
******
It was a tragic start at the moment i was "born". I was embeded in big tube with jelly-like fluid. I saw a few men with white lab coat around me. Feeling dizzy and exhausted, my next involuntary reaction was closing my eyes. The next time when i opened my eyes, i wasn't in the big tube containing some disgusting jelly thingie but i was on a bed. Even i was a new-born, i'm not a baby but a young adult. There were many "others" in the giant tubes, as i managed to catch a glimpse before i closed my eyes. " Planet P...", i mumbled as i saw a logo on the wall. Before i could have a clearer glance at the uniquely devised logo, a flat and expressionless voice interupted me.
" Mr. Leoz, i'm Dr. Robert Jetro, your personal counsellor. " A respectful old grey-haired man with white lab coat appeared in my sight. I noticed that Dr. Robert Jetro wasn't alone. A young lady was beside him. She had a long brown hair with fair smooth skin. " Ms. Vinz is your partner. " Dr. Robert Jetro introduced in a motionless voice. I breathed in the unpleasant air. " Both of you report yourselves in hospital tomorrow at 9 o'clock." Dr. Robert Jetro left us a monotonous order in a stagnant atmosphere.
******
Vinz was the most charming doctor in Hospital Pluto, by possessing the most mysterious cobalt-blue eyes, i reckoned. Perhaps it was the fault of my body chemical reaction, i failed to remove my crimson-red eyes from her, it seems like i was predestined to fall for her. I believed that my heart had been stolen at the first moment she appeared in my sight. She stole my heart, still, i had my mind. I could smell something inexplicable through her icy-cold gaze. Revenge? Jealousy? I had no idea. Having convinced myself not to bother the tide of antagonistic from Vinz, i warmly welcome Vinz into my life without considering the consequences. Because i did not realise that, there was a price to pay, an exorbitant price.
******
" Dr. Leoz, congratulation. You deserve the honour." The Director of Hospital Pluto shaked my hands while presenting me the certificate. Humbly, i received the certificate in front of my colleagues, eventhough it wasn't my first time. Two weeks ago, i had done a transplant surgery of human's brain on a brain-damaged human. It was considered a giant step in medical field. I took a quick peek at my colleagues, i could hear the most enthusiastic clap from the devious faces. I took no attention on the green-eyed monsters, " i'm used to it. " But at the moment my crimson-red eyes met a pair of cobalt-blue eyes in the air, this was the only reason for me to smile. My partner, Dr. Vinz was looking passionately at me. I smirked at my angel. For me, she was different. She helped me and cared for me without condition. Nobody would do this in Hospital Pluto.
******
Reluctantly,I looked at my watch, it was 2:15am. I was wondering why i was demanded to attend a private meeting. Being worn out after carried out a 6 hours major surgery on a heartattacked patient, i was thinking of sipping a cup of hot cocoa in my comfortable condominium, but an unexpected phone call disturbed my plan. " I'm sorry for calling you at this late time but there is something urgent from The Leader." " Our special sergeon is terribly wounded in an accident..." Dr. Robert Jetro explained uhhurriedly. " We need you in our group and this project is strictly confidential." My face turned solemn and confused. I believed that Dr. Robert Jetro had intruded my mind password and he kept saying," You are chosen to replace the former special surgeon as you are the best among the best..." Dr. Robert Jetro swallowed the last word and i thought i had heard something. But he continued, " so, get yourself prepared and report your presence tomorrow." My shagged eyes became bright.
******
My sudden disappearence from Hospital Pluto drew nobody attention. As i had been acquainted with the coolness amongst my colleages, thus no pain within my heart. Yet, there was always an exceptional case, Vinz. I could feel the strong urge of unwillingness to leave without her. " Can Dr. Vinz works with me? I mean she is my partner after all..." I asked of Dr. Robert Jetro when i received the unforeseen order but my only request was cruely rejected. " Dr. Leoz, what we want is the best, the most talented, not the mediocre. Do i make myself clear? " Dr. Robert Jetro's long face was even longer. I put a small piece of yellowish sticky note on her laptop, i thought she deserved to be informed about my leaving. " Vinz, meet at the rendezvous, 1:30pm. Love, Leoz. " I took a last glance at the note before i left.
******
" Welcome, Dr.Leoz. " I met Dr. Robert Jetro at the entrance. " Let me show you your new working place" He made me a sign to follow him. It was the most gigantic laboratory that i had ever been. And the apparatus were thounsand times more sophisicated than my previous laboratory. " This is surely an eye-opening tour." I told myself. Dr. Robert Jetro led me to a high security bronze door laboratory, X-zone. " Before u step into this lab, i want to remind you: this project is superbly private. Nothing related to the project could be published or told." His grave look already served as a great warning. " Yes sir." I answered obediently. As Dr. Robert Jetro inserting the password, an infra-red scanned through his grey iris and my cobalt-blue iris. Within a few second, the enigmatic veil was revealed behind the mysterous door.
******
" Here, i had bought you your favourite expresso." She knew that i need caffeina to stimulate my brain cells. Vinz gazed at me and was waiting for a satisfying answer. My mind was fulled with the scene where there were plenty of giant tube with jelly thingie covering a human. I was stunned with what had appeared in front of me, this was something familiar to me but i just could't get the complete puzzle. " The X-zone..." i murmed. An inituitive sense was telling me i had some connection with that. Perhaps my mind absence annoyed Vinz, she was kind of impatient, " Why you leave Hospital Pluto? Tell me. " " I am being promoted as a special surgeon in Perfect Horrizon. " I could hear Vinz's heart dropped into the abyss of disappointment. I shouldn't tell her about this but i had no intention to hide anything from her. Working with the top medical experts from Perfect Horrizon was Vinz's dream but now i was the chosen one. Praying silently in my heart, i hoped that this incident would not bring impact towards our friendship. " Congrate, Leoz, you are always the best. I still have a few appointments with my patients, see you. " Vinz left without giving me a desirable warm hug. I noticed a trace of insincerity at the edge of her lips. Maybe i was drained out due to the strenuous job.
******
It was the third months i worked with Perfect Horrizon. The genius of my operating skill amazed my colleagues in Perfect Horrizon. But there was plenty of question marks in my mind regarded to the new job. I worked as an ordinary doctor in the morning from 7:00am to 12:00pm. My true mission started at the midnight in the undergroud laboratory. Eventhough my "patient" was not the same like us, she was a mutant. She owned a pair of snow-white angel wings, other than this, she was perfectly a lovely lady. But, her crimson-red eyes intrigued my nature curiosity to investigate about her background. Dr. Alfred John, the former special surgeon and his odd disappearence must have something to deal with the project. But, every single detail about him was delected from the computer sources. Someone purposely did this. My dogged determination bore fruit when i accidentally dropped Dr. Alfred John's watch which was put in a drawer. I was using his office since i replaced him. It was an expensive watch but there was something else which drew my attention, a tiny memory card. A big fortune or a big disaster ahead.
******
" 10 Oct :The Leader had undergone an experiment of injection rearranged genes to human. 86 of them who born with desirable traits, whom were the decendants of legendary figure, had been illegally prisoned and became our specimens. None of them survived after the injection of genes except one..."
"17 Oct :Sarah Emerson, the decendant of the mad scientist, Professor Albert E.J. This was the detail i secretly found. I never expected any survival out of the inhumane experiment. But, Sarah Emerson has a particular antigen which helps her in defending her organs from the foreign substances.Surprisingly, the cells of her backbone is mutated. Her changes still under observation..."
"30 Oct :What a miracle, Sarah Emerson has a pair of wings! Most importantly, she is still alive. I'm awfully guilt-ridden everytime my eyes meet her crimson-red eyes. She is as if a fallen angel whom trapped by the cold-blooded mad scientists. I hope they won't end her life..."
"5 Nov : I couln't believe it. They are going to "kill" her and make her a rich genes pool. Those razy bastards want to create " designed human " by using the high quality genes from Sarah Emerson. I wish i could save this angel... my angel..."
"17 Nov :Damn fucking monsters, how could they euthanized Sarah Emerson without my knowledge! If only i could kill them, or The Leader...to save Sarah Emerson. I think they already notice my swinging loyalty. I'll stop this project, Sarah. I couldn't stand to see anyone suffer for the stupid desire to create a perfect world... i promise, Sarah. "
"20Dec :Those merciless morons have been cloning some " designed babies " out of Sarah's genes. They are nuturing the test tubes or perhaps..giant tubes babies...There are 50 of them. I hope they won't do harm to these innocent life..."
There were some blank space in the diary and it continued after 24 years... on the day i was born.I couldn't remove my eyes from my computer screen and they were gluttonously swallowed every single words of Dr. Alfred John's diary.
" 1 Dec 1989: Eventually one of the giant tube baby grows into mature stage. 30 of them had been eliminated due to some imperfection during the growing processes. At last, this new life comes to our world safetly. This baby is a his, whom once was a clump of cells and attentively genetically modified by me. His crimson-red eyes remember me of my angel Sarah. I'll never drop this precious memory fragment..."
"4 Dec: This young man lost conscious when he woke up, his good-looking face was mixing with unspeakable confusion. If i were him, perhaps i would had bewildered by the sign in front of me after sleeping in a giant tube for 24 years. The Leader wanted to make him a genius doctor which is a most needed profession...But i believed that The Leader is blueprinting some evil plan.... All the information and knowledge was inserted in his brain. What a poor young man, born with Einstein's intellegence and artificial perfection in various aspects, yet without love, not even in a micro unit. Dr. Robert Jetro will be his personal counsellor. His name is Leoz, means "Life" . God bless you, my son..."
My tears flooded when i reached this last part. I wished Dr. Alfred John would have written more than this. I wished i could dig up more and more about myself. I wished i could have a lovely family. I never imagine that i could be a genetically modified baby from a mutant...Sarcastically, my " mother " was my " patient" , no, or i should call her my specimen. "What the hell is going on ?" It's frustrating to discover some unbelievable truth which has been purposely swept under carpet. I couldn't be convinced by the fact that i was a designed object, i couldn't put off my wrath that i was using my "mother" as specimen, and i couldn't hold the grief that i was working with demons. Having these jumbled emotions pouncing on my heart, i threw a fist on my computer screen. Flesh blood dribbling down of my cut fingers together with complicated feelings.
******
My watch was tickling heavily,as if it carried my burden. It was 10:28 pm. I was waiting for Vinz. It had been a long time since i last met her. I knew that she was now the best doctor in Hospital Pluto. Expected. Vinz was the only best friend i had, and there was nothing i would hide from her. I trusted her whole-heartedly as she was a good listener and a loyal secret keeper. Automatically, i felt like sharing the biggest secret with her while driving by unimaginable despair. 2 minutes later, Vinz show up with her outstanding elegance. " I have something to tell you, Vinz...Something serious. " As I was about to pour out my bitterness, i turned my back to her. This was my habit, it was a sign to tell Vinz that i trusted her and i would leave my back for her to take care of. " Sadly, Leoz miscalculted one thing, human change, so do i. I know everything about you..." Vinz uttered cunningly. I felt a sudden pain in my chest while i started the converstion. Unexpectedly,Vinz stabbed me from behind with a laser knife. " You cannot ran away anymore, The Leader knew about your secrect and ordered me to kill you, Leoz..." Vinz wasn't Vinz...I smelled revenge, jealousy,envious, greed from her .I was stunned. My reflex action saved my life by pushing Vinz away and i started to run for life. I could hear Vinz's Machiavellian grin, " They will hunt for you, hahahaha...."
******
This is the first time i had made the wrong judgement and i have to bear the price. Vinz deceives me from the beginning yet she pretends as the most trustworthy friend after all. Undeniable, she is the best actress and i foolishly gave her my whole heart and my back. Truth always hurt and the pain is killing me. This is the first time Vinz looks like the demons and she smells like them, stink. I take my badly wounded body to the X-Zone and set up the destrustion mode. There are 19 of my brothers who are being nutured in the giant tubes. " Please forgive me, brothers. I don't want you to become puppets of demons. " I fail to hold my tears. I take the first and the last kiss on my "mother's" forehead. I believe that she would agree with me. The X-Zone shouldn't exist. No one should become the victim of human's endless desire..X-zone is where no true friendship...where love is totally forgotten...
******
It was a tragic start at the moment i was "born". I was embeded in big tube with jelly-like fluid. I saw a few men with white lab coat around me. Feeling dizzy and exhausted, my next involuntary reaction was closing my eyes. The next time when i opened my eyes, i wasn't in the big tube containing some disgusting jelly thingie but i was on a bed. Even i was a new-born, i'm not a baby but a young adult. There were many "others" in the giant tubes, as i managed to catch a glimpse before i closed my eyes. " Planet P...", i mumbled as i saw a logo on the wall. Before i could have a clearer glance at the uniquely devised logo, a flat and expressionless voice interupted me.
" Mr. Leoz, i'm Dr. Robert Jetro, your personal counsellor. " A respectful old grey-haired man with white lab coat appeared in my sight. I noticed that Dr. Robert Jetro wasn't alone. A young lady was beside him. She had a long brown hair with fair smooth skin. " Ms. Vinz is your partner. " Dr. Robert Jetro introduced in a motionless voice. I breathed in the unpleasant air. " Both of you report yourselves in hospital tomorrow at 9 o'clock." Dr. Robert Jetro left us a monotonous order in a stagnant atmosphere.
******
Vinz was the most charming doctor in Hospital Pluto, by possessing the most mysterious cobalt-blue eyes, i reckoned. Perhaps it was the fault of my body chemical reaction, i failed to remove my crimson-red eyes from her, it seems like i was predestined to fall for her. I believed that my heart had been stolen at the first moment she appeared in my sight. She stole my heart, still, i had my mind. I could smell something inexplicable through her icy-cold gaze. Revenge? Jealousy? I had no idea. Having convinced myself not to bother the tide of antagonistic from Vinz, i warmly welcome Vinz into my life without considering the consequences. Because i did not realise that, there was a price to pay, an exorbitant price.
******
" Dr. Leoz, congratulation. You deserve the honour." The Director of Hospital Pluto shaked my hands while presenting me the certificate. Humbly, i received the certificate in front of my colleagues, eventhough it wasn't my first time. Two weeks ago, i had done a transplant surgery of human's brain on a brain-damaged human. It was considered a giant step in medical field. I took a quick peek at my colleagues, i could hear the most enthusiastic clap from the devious faces. I took no attention on the green-eyed monsters, " i'm used to it. " But at the moment my crimson-red eyes met a pair of cobalt-blue eyes in the air, this was the only reason for me to smile. My partner, Dr. Vinz was looking passionately at me. I smirked at my angel. For me, she was different. She helped me and cared for me without condition. Nobody would do this in Hospital Pluto.
******
Reluctantly,I looked at my watch, it was 2:15am. I was wondering why i was demanded to attend a private meeting. Being worn out after carried out a 6 hours major surgery on a heartattacked patient, i was thinking of sipping a cup of hot cocoa in my comfortable condominium, but an unexpected phone call disturbed my plan. " I'm sorry for calling you at this late time but there is something urgent from The Leader." " Our special sergeon is terribly wounded in an accident..." Dr. Robert Jetro explained uhhurriedly. " We need you in our group and this project is strictly confidential." My face turned solemn and confused. I believed that Dr. Robert Jetro had intruded my mind password and he kept saying," You are chosen to replace the former special surgeon as you are the best among the best..." Dr. Robert Jetro swallowed the last word and i thought i had heard something. But he continued, " so, get yourself prepared and report your presence tomorrow." My shagged eyes became bright.
******
My sudden disappearence from Hospital Pluto drew nobody attention. As i had been acquainted with the coolness amongst my colleages, thus no pain within my heart. Yet, there was always an exceptional case, Vinz. I could feel the strong urge of unwillingness to leave without her. " Can Dr. Vinz works with me? I mean she is my partner after all..." I asked of Dr. Robert Jetro when i received the unforeseen order but my only request was cruely rejected. " Dr. Leoz, what we want is the best, the most talented, not the mediocre. Do i make myself clear? " Dr. Robert Jetro's long face was even longer. I put a small piece of yellowish sticky note on her laptop, i thought she deserved to be informed about my leaving. " Vinz, meet at the rendezvous, 1:30pm. Love, Leoz. " I took a last glance at the note before i left.
******
" Welcome, Dr.Leoz. " I met Dr. Robert Jetro at the entrance. " Let me show you your new working place" He made me a sign to follow him. It was the most gigantic laboratory that i had ever been. And the apparatus were thounsand times more sophisicated than my previous laboratory. " This is surely an eye-opening tour." I told myself. Dr. Robert Jetro led me to a high security bronze door laboratory, X-zone. " Before u step into this lab, i want to remind you: this project is superbly private. Nothing related to the project could be published or told." His grave look already served as a great warning. " Yes sir." I answered obediently. As Dr. Robert Jetro inserting the password, an infra-red scanned through his grey iris and my cobalt-blue iris. Within a few second, the enigmatic veil was revealed behind the mysterous door.
******
" Here, i had bought you your favourite expresso." She knew that i need caffeina to stimulate my brain cells. Vinz gazed at me and was waiting for a satisfying answer. My mind was fulled with the scene where there were plenty of giant tube with jelly thingie covering a human. I was stunned with what had appeared in front of me, this was something familiar to me but i just could't get the complete puzzle. " The X-zone..." i murmed. An inituitive sense was telling me i had some connection with that. Perhaps my mind absence annoyed Vinz, she was kind of impatient, " Why you leave Hospital Pluto? Tell me. " " I am being promoted as a special surgeon in Perfect Horrizon. " I could hear Vinz's heart dropped into the abyss of disappointment. I shouldn't tell her about this but i had no intention to hide anything from her. Working with the top medical experts from Perfect Horrizon was Vinz's dream but now i was the chosen one. Praying silently in my heart, i hoped that this incident would not bring impact towards our friendship. " Congrate, Leoz, you are always the best. I still have a few appointments with my patients, see you. " Vinz left without giving me a desirable warm hug. I noticed a trace of insincerity at the edge of her lips. Maybe i was drained out due to the strenuous job.
******
It was the third months i worked with Perfect Horrizon. The genius of my operating skill amazed my colleagues in Perfect Horrizon. But there was plenty of question marks in my mind regarded to the new job. I worked as an ordinary doctor in the morning from 7:00am to 12:00pm. My true mission started at the midnight in the undergroud laboratory. Eventhough my "patient" was not the same like us, she was a mutant. She owned a pair of snow-white angel wings, other than this, she was perfectly a lovely lady. But, her crimson-red eyes intrigued my nature curiosity to investigate about her background. Dr. Alfred John, the former special surgeon and his odd disappearence must have something to deal with the project. But, every single detail about him was delected from the computer sources. Someone purposely did this. My dogged determination bore fruit when i accidentally dropped Dr. Alfred John's watch which was put in a drawer. I was using his office since i replaced him. It was an expensive watch but there was something else which drew my attention, a tiny memory card. A big fortune or a big disaster ahead.
******
" 10 Oct :The Leader had undergone an experiment of injection rearranged genes to human. 86 of them who born with desirable traits, whom were the decendants of legendary figure, had been illegally prisoned and became our specimens. None of them survived after the injection of genes except one..."
"17 Oct :Sarah Emerson, the decendant of the mad scientist, Professor Albert E.J. This was the detail i secretly found. I never expected any survival out of the inhumane experiment. But, Sarah Emerson has a particular antigen which helps her in defending her organs from the foreign substances.Surprisingly, the cells of her backbone is mutated. Her changes still under observation..."
"30 Oct :What a miracle, Sarah Emerson has a pair of wings! Most importantly, she is still alive. I'm awfully guilt-ridden everytime my eyes meet her crimson-red eyes. She is as if a fallen angel whom trapped by the cold-blooded mad scientists. I hope they won't end her life..."
"5 Nov : I couln't believe it. They are going to "kill" her and make her a rich genes pool. Those razy bastards want to create " designed human " by using the high quality genes from Sarah Emerson. I wish i could save this angel... my angel..."
"17 Nov :Damn fucking monsters, how could they euthanized Sarah Emerson without my knowledge! If only i could kill them, or The Leader...to save Sarah Emerson. I think they already notice my swinging loyalty. I'll stop this project, Sarah. I couldn't stand to see anyone suffer for the stupid desire to create a perfect world... i promise, Sarah. "
"20Dec :Those merciless morons have been cloning some " designed babies " out of Sarah's genes. They are nuturing the test tubes or perhaps..giant tubes babies...There are 50 of them. I hope they won't do harm to these innocent life..."
There were some blank space in the diary and it continued after 24 years... on the day i was born.I couldn't remove my eyes from my computer screen and they were gluttonously swallowed every single words of Dr. Alfred John's diary.
" 1 Dec 1989: Eventually one of the giant tube baby grows into mature stage. 30 of them had been eliminated due to some imperfection during the growing processes. At last, this new life comes to our world safetly. This baby is a his, whom once was a clump of cells and attentively genetically modified by me. His crimson-red eyes remember me of my angel Sarah. I'll never drop this precious memory fragment..."
"4 Dec: This young man lost conscious when he woke up, his good-looking face was mixing with unspeakable confusion. If i were him, perhaps i would had bewildered by the sign in front of me after sleeping in a giant tube for 24 years. The Leader wanted to make him a genius doctor which is a most needed profession...But i believed that The Leader is blueprinting some evil plan.... All the information and knowledge was inserted in his brain. What a poor young man, born with Einstein's intellegence and artificial perfection in various aspects, yet without love, not even in a micro unit. Dr. Robert Jetro will be his personal counsellor. His name is Leoz, means "Life" . God bless you, my son..."
My tears flooded when i reached this last part. I wished Dr. Alfred John would have written more than this. I wished i could dig up more and more about myself. I wished i could have a lovely family. I never imagine that i could be a genetically modified baby from a mutant...Sarcastically, my " mother " was my " patient" , no, or i should call her my specimen. "What the hell is going on ?" It's frustrating to discover some unbelievable truth which has been purposely swept under carpet. I couldn't be convinced by the fact that i was a designed object, i couldn't put off my wrath that i was using my "mother" as specimen, and i couldn't hold the grief that i was working with demons. Having these jumbled emotions pouncing on my heart, i threw a fist on my computer screen. Flesh blood dribbling down of my cut fingers together with complicated feelings.
******
My watch was tickling heavily,as if it carried my burden. It was 10:28 pm. I was waiting for Vinz. It had been a long time since i last met her. I knew that she was now the best doctor in Hospital Pluto. Expected. Vinz was the only best friend i had, and there was nothing i would hide from her. I trusted her whole-heartedly as she was a good listener and a loyal secret keeper. Automatically, i felt like sharing the biggest secret with her while driving by unimaginable despair. 2 minutes later, Vinz show up with her outstanding elegance. " I have something to tell you, Vinz...Something serious. " As I was about to pour out my bitterness, i turned my back to her. This was my habit, it was a sign to tell Vinz that i trusted her and i would leave my back for her to take care of. " Sadly, Leoz miscalculted one thing, human change, so do i. I know everything about you..." Vinz uttered cunningly. I felt a sudden pain in my chest while i started the converstion. Unexpectedly,Vinz stabbed me from behind with a laser knife. " You cannot ran away anymore, The Leader knew about your secrect and ordered me to kill you, Leoz..." Vinz wasn't Vinz...I smelled revenge, jealousy,envious, greed from her .I was stunned. My reflex action saved my life by pushing Vinz away and i started to run for life. I could hear Vinz's Machiavellian grin, " They will hunt for you, hahahaha...."
******
This is the first time i had made the wrong judgement and i have to bear the price. Vinz deceives me from the beginning yet she pretends as the most trustworthy friend after all. Undeniable, she is the best actress and i foolishly gave her my whole heart and my back. Truth always hurt and the pain is killing me. This is the first time Vinz looks like the demons and she smells like them, stink. I take my badly wounded body to the X-Zone and set up the destrustion mode. There are 19 of my brothers who are being nutured in the giant tubes. " Please forgive me, brothers. I don't want you to become puppets of demons. " I fail to hold my tears. I take the first and the last kiss on my "mother's" forehead. I believe that she would agree with me. The X-Zone shouldn't exist. No one should become the victim of human's endless desire..X-zone is where no true friendship...where love is totally forgotten...
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