Thursday, October 13, 2011

Still a HUMAN?

I have been a good Christian, but nowadays I have started to drift away from the Kingdom seems like not belong to me. The "Mr.Good Man" inside me is getting away form my soul, Christian cycle does not welcome me since I am not Christian enough, the world does not like me because I am not cool enough for them. Is there a twilight zone for an outcast like me?
Well, all those stupid jerks are nothing but goddamn suckers! When they need something from me, they act to be so nice to me, once I give them the honey they want, they turn their back and let me thrown away like an used-tissue paper.
Is this the world ought to be?
I don't understand.
I can't see, neither can I feel a trace of love in this failing world.
Only disgusting mutualism and stinking hypocrisy I see.
Sigh.
I don't care anymore.
As far as I concern, though I fail in everything I do, I don't want to fail to become a human.
Because I was created to be one. 

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Not a LOSER

I had lost in the competition, not being able to perform excellently as how I expected. Well, I am quite used to losing, sounds like I had never won before. It's true that I neither won nor stand out in any of the competitive events. Not that I don't want to, but I hate the fact that I am not able to. In other words, I am good at losing not winning ; I am just a participant to make the winner shine brighter in my dimness, a  byplay to make the hero heroic, a side dishes to make the main course look delicious, a green leave that contrasts the beauty of a flower. If this is the role which is given by God, He is the Director and I have to accept whatever He gives, even being a loser in this melodrama.

Little did I know that I am such a naughty one; being a loser, I don't get appreciated for taking the place no one else would take, but I am freaking happy too to see the goddamn long faces that my lecturers gave after I lost. Oops, I am so sorry that I had disappointed you, but don't you think that you owe me a goddamn apologize for   making me a loser? My disability does reflect your teaching capability, thus, if I'm a loser , then you are a sucker!

I don't mind losing, but the consolation from those insensitive people deserve  little gratitude from me.I can share the joy with my friends, though I am not in the wining shoes, can you? I have the courage to fight the giants even I may look like a pity grasshopper to them, can you? I have the strength to swim against the oceans of odds, can you? I have bravery to pick myself up from the dirt, can you? I have the boldness to stand up for injustice, can you? I have the sincerity to love those who might stab my back, can you? I do all these without a gold medal but all in secret, can you?

If you can't do what I do, then stop calling me  loser. Because I am not a loser, just because of a stupid competition. I can't run fast, but I'll never stop running until I reach the goal.Because I am not a loser.